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"Everyone has a theory of marriage; few of them agree: The happiest marriages are based on the least romantic expectations; the happiest marriages are maintained by spouses who cling to rosy lenses and insist on holding their partners in delusionally high regard. In a happy marriage, the focus is inward, the relationship comes first; in a happy marriage, each spouse encourages the other to attain individual goals. "   Elizabeth Weil

Ever since Scott and I started talking about getting married, I've been reading books about marriage.  I believe in educating yourself about big decisions. And for me, education usually comes in the form of books. I really enjoyed Elizabeth Weil's chronicle of her project to to make her marriage better.

What she discovered through self-examination and through reading everything she could get her hands on, was that marriages are as individual as the people in them. There are a million ways to make them work.  And a million ways to make them not work. I particularly liked her descriptions of her husband's culinary efforts and the times when he seems to her to be cooler than her  (her insecurities, not his). Her honesty about their monetary struggles is refreshing and makes for an interesting read. 

As Scott and I embark on our marriage, I'd like to remember all the ways there are many to make it work and that the important thing is the commitment to finding the way that works for you. 



 


Comments

Jody
03/31/2012 19:45

You'll remember all the ways to make it work and you'll keep seeking the perfect solution to each rough spot. Remember you have to have the rough spots to enjoy the harmonious periods of perfect joy and love. It's a balancing act and you are GREAT at juggling! If Scott thinks he's happy now, wait until he's 94!

J

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